Man who can't fly, build, navigate, repair or service an airplane 'Perfect Candidate' to run airline
Real Business News Now #5
Airline Pacific Global announced today that it has completed it search for a new CEO. Dave Harris, a 53-year-old business major with no ability or potential to ever fly, build, navigate, repair or service an airplane, was raised to the position after a unanimous vote by Pacific Global’s board.
“We were looking for the perfect candidate,” Pacific Global Vice President Sharon Gains told reporters, “With his extensive background in business, including being CEO of a shoelace company, and his time as general manager of Whole Fitness, we honestly can’t think of a better person to have our fleet flying higher than ever before.”
Harris, who is married with four children, is described as a ‘proactive collaborator’ with a passion for ‘direct administration.’ Of his many achievements, his success in implementing a ‘productivity accountability system’ during his time as CEO of LuxurRest Carpet Underlays was described by the board as what clinched his appointment.
The news will no doubt come as a great disappointment to other candidates. Bruce Roberts, a ex-air force pilot who competes in amateur gliding contests, former Industrial Mechanics COO Trent Stevens, and GeoTrack lead product designer Bronwyn Jaimeson.
Owing to a busy schedule, Harris will commence employment in late 2024, after he has completed gastric bypass surgery, attended the International Loafer Lovers convention, and given the keynote address at the Society for the Protection of Hardwood Floors.